The office of our Malaysian supplier is being remodeled, so when duty called after my morning coffee, I was forced to use the worker's latrine.
When I opened the door, I had a flash back to my first days in the Peace Corps.
No seat, no air conditioning, no toilet paper, and no Sports Illustrated!!!
Only a hole in the ground and a bucket of water (not shown).
Already at the point of no return, I assumed the position and recalled some sagely advice from a fellow Peace Corps volunteer. After several beers, he had divulged that the secret is to "let the water act like a glove, a protective barrier, if you like".
Intrigued, I asked, "so, if you do it right, the sh*t never really touches your hand?"
"Wishful thinking, my friend. Wishful thinking."
The real secret is to wash your hands vigorously afterwards, and then, hope you can forget the entire experience.