Welcome To Le Monte Carlo Cafe

When I visit Haining, China, I stay at the Royal Palace Hotel.  Le Monte Carlo Cafe is the hotel's attempt at an international buffet. 

They have some standard fair, such as rice, noodles, french fries, and dumplings, but there's a large number of dishes that, I think it's safe to say, can not be found on most international menus.

Here's a sampling of some of the "international" dishes I found last week at the Monte Carlo

To start - Jujubes.  Not so bizarre, but they remind me of the movie Ishtar when Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty get lost in the desert because their jujubes did not glow in the dark.

Baked bullfrog with sauce

Jew's ear with garlic - at first, I thought this was just a bad translation, but turns out, it's actually the name of a mushroom.

Kelp - I didn't know humans ate this

Starfish legs - didn't know they ate them either

Cattle Stomach - just because you can eat something doesn't mean you should.

and no Chinese "international" menus is complete without duck tongue.  It seems the Chinese eat every part of the duck (head, beak, skin, tongue, feet) except for the meat.

The above pictures were taken from the web (except for the starfish) because my Blackberry camera sucks.  So, for the sake of posterity here are the original photos from the Monte Carlo Cafe.

Try Before You Buy

When The Hunter Becomes The Hunted

If you go to any Thai department store you'll immediately notice the high proportion of Staff to Shoppers. 

The other day at Home Pro, they reached the pinnacle of customer service achievements with a staff/ customer ratio of 1:1 at the bottom of the escalator - no easy accomplishment considering it was a busy Sunday afternoon.

A few of the orange-aproned staff are difficult to see, but there are 8 of them to the 8 shoppers.

Upon entering Home Pro, casual shoppers quickly learn that the rules of the game have changed - that the bargain hunter is now the hunted.  It's a never ending game of cat and mouse, as most customers duck and dive to avoid a high-pressure confrontation, and only the bravest shopper will venture into the Electronics Department.  Many unsuspecting husbands, innocently whittling away time watching Avatar while their wives shop for a blender, have found themselves the new owner of a 47" Hi Definition 3D-TV.

The staff in the picture above look like they're standing around talking about which food stall has the best somtam.  In fact, they're quietly plotting their next attack, tracking their next victim.  They prey on the old, the infirm, and wives that come without their husbands. 

From the looks of things here, my guess is the guy in the white shirt is about to find himself a few baht poorer.  He's alone and outnumbered.  There are 7 staff in front of him and a woman in the rear to block any retreat.  His fate was sealed as soon as he stepped onto the down escalator - unknowingly walking into a textbook ambush.  It's only a matter of time now before he finds himself at the checkout counter with a new Samsung 1800W Twin Jet vacuum cleaner.  Shopper Beware.

???????

I'm afraid the true meaning of "This car is Yellow non children" will forever remain a mystery.

Along Came Polly

Here's some pictures of Carl's new daughter, Polly - which is short for Pollywog.  His first daughter gave her that nickname after she saw an early sonogram.