In fact, it was the road that made the wrong turn - into a bridge that put me on the wrong side of the river and right in the middle of Bangkok's densest tourist district, which includes the Grand Palace, the Emerald Buddha, and Sanam Luang where tens of thousands of Thais were coming to pay their respect to Princess Galyani Vadhana. What started out as a simple journey along "the scenic route" turned into a 2-hour Bangkok traffic nightmare.
I'm pretty proud of my ability to get around Bangkok. Most people are familiar with a certain area - where they live or where they work. I've had the chance to live and work in several parts of Bangkok and am confident that if something ever happens to my current company, I could always find work as a taxi driver (maybe I am becoming an immigrant). But on this day, I broke the rule - I ventured out of my familiar territory and paid the price with my very own "Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament" moment.
It all started on a quiet Sunday morning around 10:30. Nuch and I had reservations for Trader Vic's Brunch at the Marriott in the afternoon, but we left early, so we could drop off her father at Sirirat Hospital for a Doctor's appointment. The hospital is located on the river - the same side as the Marriott, so I figured let's take a new route, follow the river road and perhaps, find some new riverside restaurants along the way.
At this point, I guess it's only fair to say that Nuch saw the road I was taking and told me (more than once) that it was the wrong way. Yes, I know it's the wrong way, I'm just trying something different - something "scenic". Trust me, we have plenty of time. Silence.
If you look at this map, you can see Nuch's house and the hospital just down the road. From the hospital, I planned to follow the river South to the Marriott, simple enough, right? But at the Wrong Turn marker, the road veered left, became a bridge, and crossed the river, which left me at the beginning of the orange route instead of the pink route that was supposed to take me to the Marriott. I should add that as soon as we hit the bridge, traffic came to a standstill. Nuch and I sat there for 30 minutes. Beautiful view of the river, but I never saw it.
Nuch took this opportunity to remind me that she had told me it's the wrong way, and I was reminded of my favorite line from The Last King of Scotland, when Idi Amin complains that his Scottish advisor did not tell him what to do.
Nicholas (Scottish Advisor): I did. I DID (TELL YOU WHAT TO DO)!
Idi Amin: But you did not persuade me, Nicholas. You did not persuade me!
From the Wrong Turn, I was forced by a series of one-way streets to stay on the orange path, which was leading me away from the Marriott, and even worse, it was taking me towards Sanam Luang, where as I mentioned earlier, thousands of tourists and Thais in mourning along with their tour buses were crammed into the tiny back streets surrounding the Grand Palace.
At this point, our goal was to just get back across the river - easier said than done. In order to get on the bridge, we had to go under it and continue Northeast along the river about a kilometer (still lots of traffic, mind you), come around the block and return back towards the bridge. Once again, we were at the bridge, but we could not simply turn right and cross the river. We were forced to turn left, drive another kilometer, then U-turn, come back, and finally cross the bridge.
After nearly 2 hours of traffic, one-way streets, and U-turns we are right back where we started - in front of Nuch's house.
In conclusion, we finally made it to Trader Vic's for brunch, and because we had left so early we were only 10 minutes late, which is actually considered on time by Thai standards. That being said, there's a lesson to be learned, even if it's just a reminder of the most important unwritten law of Bangkok Driving - if you go off the beaten path, prepare to be beaten. Slightly less well-known is - 2 wrongs don't make a right, 3 rights make a left.
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