Ananas, Gherkins, and Useful Parts

Mistakes in English occur everywhere in Thailand. The first one I remember was a sign at our hotel while I was in the Peace Corps. It said "Open Dairy 8.00 to 18.00". Being new to Thailand, I took it quite literally and figured the hotel had some cows out back that you could watch being milked. Why not? At the time, I was seeing much stranger things on a dairy basis.

Anyway, I try not to laugh too hard because of the countless mistakes I've made in Thai - for example trying to order Noodles with soup, but actually ordering Noodles with toilet water or trying to say, I've never seen snow in Thailand, but actually saying I've never seen dog vaginae in Thailand - at which point my friend fell on the floor laughing and said, but they're everywhere. Never underestimate the importance of tones.

That being said, some of the 'Th-English' is still good for a laugh. Below is the menu for a Swiss-Thai restaurant in Korat called Amporn's. Good food, if you can decipher the menu. Actually, the English is not so bad, and in fact, the strict reliance on a dictionary or thesaurus to make the translation from Swiss to Thai to English makes the menu all that more enticing.




Which would you rather have? Some cold cuts or...

'Ham believed in the mode of Parma' and 'Meat pie sections surrounded by frost, Cheese, Butters, and Gherkins'.



Club Sandwich - 4 parts useful with French Fries and Chicken Nuggets, which have an even greater 5 parts useful with French Fries.


Initially, I thought Amporn had forgotten a 'B' on her Ananas, but turns out Anana is another word for Pineapple. From now on, I'm ordering Ananas and Bananas for breakfast.